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I often feel like I do all the inviting but no one ever invites me anywhere. It's not a bad thing like I'm left out - it's more like nothing happens. With almost all my friends I initiate the event, organize the get-together, call someone to go shopping, drop an email asking someone to go for coffee, etc., but if I stop inviting friends to do things I rarely get called to do anything. Does this happen to anyone else?
When I was in high school and a lot more insecure I thought it was because no one liked me, or they forgot about me unless I contacted them. I felt like I was always asking people to hang out but then no one would ask me to hang out. I remember one year during spring break I thought I would try an experiment and not call a single person and see whether someone called me to do something. The entire week went by and not a single person called me. It made me really sad. My friend's mom thought it was a stupid experiment and said that some people are just organizers and other people are participators and it had nothing to do whether people liked me or not. She said our friends were probably just used to me doing all the organizing.
Well, she was most likely very right. However, it can still make me sad that I am STILL the one doing all the inviting. I can do the same thing every week with the same friend for two month and then the minute I don't call we stop doing it. For example, we might decide to go for coffee every Wednesday night and each week I send a text making sure we are still on. Then one week I'm busy and don't get around to the text and think maybe my friend will text me - and I hear nothing. And I continue to hear nothing until I contact her again - even if four months pass by. Although I realize that it has nothing to do with whether the person likes me or not, it still sometimes makes me sad. At least I think it has nothing to do with that - I guess I could be sorely mistaken....
However, today I got an email from a friend asking me to go to the movies. Just that simple little thing made my day. It's nice to be remembered, isn't it? And I think this post makes me seem like a loser....
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Another fun thing - hubs and are are battling it out in Sorry. Do you remember that board game? I was banned from playing it as a kid because I got so upset when my mom chose to send me back to start instead of my older sister. I got so upset my mom said I was no longer allowed to play that game. I think I'm mature enough to handle it now - at least playing with my hubs. We literally just played five games in a row. Unfortunately I lost most of them - but the second I won I said we could stop playing. I love board games!
What's your favorite board game from times past?
I completely understand! Like just this past month I was so upset because my best friend from college and her friend have been posting BFF messages, pictures, invites, stupid things lol but of course it upset me to the point where I started making up my own BFF posts jaja My Mom of course thought it was totally lame but stupid as it seemed it hurt my feelings. I totally think that some people are just a little more sensitive to others feelings...which is a good thing :)
ReplyDeleteI love that game! I don't think Jeo has ever played it......another thing to put on the to-do list lol
I definitely know what you mean. In high school my same group of 6 girls would get together at one girl's house and I was never "invited" I always had to invite myself. My mom was sick of seeing me cry over it and told me not to hang out with that girl anymore. It turns out she was just more shy and loved being the host. The more the merrier was always her motto and we're still friends 17 years later. :-)
ReplyDeleteMy "little experiment" is going on now with my in-laws. My husband's sisters have all the kids (my husband's brother doesn't have any and we only have one). His mother is closer to her girls (which I think is true in most families) and therefore to THEIR children. I worked REALLY HARD making sure we were included and invited to everything because I didn't want Kara to be left out. After Kara turned 3, I stopped trying so hard and now we just see them twice a year. It's sad, and makes me sad for Kara, but that just has to be the way it is.
And I don't want you to always feel like you're doing the inviting with us (because that's the way it's been and that should change). So, would you like to go shopping or come over to do Christmas cards sometime soon? I LOVE having people to my house and you can always come over for no reason. :-)